Because I HAVE to....

Anybody who has even taken a quick glance at my blog is quick to see that my passion and love for children is never-ending. For as long as I can remember, I have always been an advocate for children's rights, and as a result it resonates in all I do.



I suppose growing up in a broken home and moving from town to town took its influential toll on me to some extent as a young child, and the fact that my mother was a novelist (romance novels) and my grandmother who practically raised me (a poet and songwriter), somehow turned me into who I am today. Their artistic influence taught me to find meaning through creative expression.

Of course, there have been a several other important events along the way that have guided me, but as I grow older, I find myself pressing forward with each new endeavor, yet still a part of me continues to dig deeper to the core of who I am.



As a young child, I recall one morning after waking up at my grandmother's house. I was eating toast with peanut butter and drinking Tang. I remember asking my grandmother why she wrote all the time.



I was twelve years old, and we had just returned from a trip to Washington (Mt. St. Helen's had just erupted so we were able to see it from the plane spewing ashes). She used to scribble notes here and there, and in some way, there still seemed to be a method to her chaos spread on the counters and taped to the refrigerator.

She simply looked at me and said, "Topher [she called me that], there are two types of writers: Those who want to write and those who have to write. I guess I just have to write."

I was too young to really understand the complexity and the depth to what she was saying, but it hit me years later while struggling as a writer eating Top Ramen and Mac & Cheese.


[a collage I made of my grandma's notes]

I realized that I just had to create. I had to write. I had to have a camera in my hand. I had to tell stories and dig deep into what made people do the things they do. And more importantly, why.

I hope, that at the end of my life, I have a canon of work, that represents my belief that every child should be afforded the opportunity to live a healthy and happy life. Ultimately, if I succeed, my work will serve as a reminder of the need to celebrate the beauty of childhood. If nothing else, my children will know the precious nature of parenthood.



I guess my wish today is that if you stumbled upon this post, I hope you'll ask yourself whether you WANT to be a ______________ or you HAVE to be a ______________.

For me personally, once I recognized the answer, it made all the difference in the world, because it essentially remained at the core of who I was, and still am, as an artist today.